What are your favorite running songs?
Here are a few of mine.
- Let Forever Be. The Chemical Brothers
- Magic. B.o.B.
- Me Gustas Tu. Manu Chao
- The Middle. Jimmy Eat World
- Mr. Mastodon Farm. Cake
- My Body. Young The Giant
- Need You Now. Cut Copy
- Never Listen To Me. The Thermals
- Not Like Any Other Feeling. The Thermals
Other parts of the list:
“The way to stop the war is to stop hating the enemy. It starts with seeing our opinions of ourselves and of others as simply our take on reality and not making them a reason to increase the negativity on the planet…
…It’s up to us to sort out what is opinion and what is fact then we can see intelligently. The more clearly we can see, the more powerful our speech and actions will be. The less our speech and actions are clouded by opinion, the more they will communicate, not only to the people polluting the rivers, but also to those who are going to put pressure on the people who are polluting the rivers.”
– Pema Chödrön . When Things Fall Apart; Heart Advice For Difficult Times.
I bought When Things Fall Apart about 6 years ago, when my stepdad died and never read it. It’s just been collecting dust on my bookshelf. A few weeks ago I attended a workshop for work and one of the speakers talked about the concept of self compassion and how it can help us as library workers in dealing with compassion fatigue (or Secondary Traumatic Stress). One of the books recommended was this one, so I thought I’d pick it up since I had it handy.
I am really glad I did. And I wish I’d picked it up a lot sooner. The name of the book put me off, I think. I think I felt like I had to be in a really bad place in order to read it, but, as it turns out, the book has a lot of practical advice for just everyday living. It is a classic American Buddisim text and very jargony, so I am not sure if non-buddhists would get much out of it, though I think if you are interested in learning about Buddhism from a practical standpoint this might be a good book to read. I have a lot of non-Buddhist friends who have read this and liked it though, so.
Anyway, I like it and recommend it. I just read this from the book a few minutes ago and feel like it is very timely, considering the circumstances of the world.
More on what I am learning about self-compassion in a later blog post.
Here is another Holga shot from the last roll I ran through it. I took it at the Oregon State Fair last September.
I am reminded that I haven’t picked up a camera in weeks. WEEKS! This is terrible. I need to pick up a camera.
Currently I am scanning a roll that I shot through my Olympus Pen and, honestly, it is killing me. All of those photos! I need to just bite the bullet and finish the job.
Thank you to those who read my last post. I wrote it when I was not in the best state of mind, but I kind of wanted to do that. I wanted to document the fear that I was feeling. I am trying to be better about just sitting with my feelings and emotions, rather than reacting. It’s very hard for me to do. It’s a process. I so appreciate the support and good thoughts! Thank you.
My hands are trembling as I type this. I was out for my lunchtime walk and almost was hit by a car. I was crossing the street and the driver was turning left and wasn’t paying attention because he didn’t make any attempt to stop until I screamed and ran out of the way.
I made it to the corner and he stopped and I turned to him with a look of horror and yelled, “You almost hit me!! I was crossing the street! Jesus Fucking Christ!!” and he looked mortified but blew me off by waving his hands in a kind of “I’m Sorry gesture” and he drove away.
I kept on walking, very shaken, and then I had to stop on the sidewalk and cry because I don’t know what else to do with these feelings that bubble up to the surface when I am in this situation.
I have been hit by a car in the past and so am very sensitive about this and I am very unforgiving when I find myself in this situation. The last time this happened I decided the person needed to understand my feelings and I made it very clear to them, by yelling hysterically, that they could have killed me. Afterward I felt bad about doing that, along with feeling like an idiot for completely losing my cool.
This time I just walked away and cried. I am not sure I feel any better right now.
Rage and anger boil up to the surface regardless.
How can people be so completely oblivious?
How dare they?!?
I don’t know what to do with this anger that goes hand in hand with the terrifying fear I am also feeling.
Originally posted on Pinhole Obscura.
Once upon a time the Chief Of The Gods and his two sons, Pahto and Wy’east, traveled from the North down the Columbia River to find a place to settle. They came upon the most beautiful land they had ever seen and decided that this was the place. However, the two sons quarreled over the land and to settle the dispute their father shot two arrows from his bow: one to the North and one to the South. Pahto followed the arrow to the North and settled there, while Wy’east followed the arrow South. Their father then built A bridge across The Columbia so their family could gather from time to time.
Both sons fell in love with the same woman, the beautiful Loowit. She could not choose between them so the brothers fought each other for her hand. They buried villages in their destructive wake. The area was left devastated by their war, and the bridge built by their father fell into the Columbia river.
Their father punished the brothers by turning them into mountains. Wy’east became the volcano Mt. Hood, and Pahto became the volcano Mt Adams. The beautiful Loowit became Mt. Saint Helens which stands between Adams and Hood.
The bridge was rebuilt by men and is, to this day, known as The Bridge Of The Gods.
Exposure time: 5 seconds
Camera: Zero 2000
Film: Kodak Ektar 100
Focal Length: 25mm
Dev: C-41 by Lab
Today I’m thinking about the tenuous nature of life and It is stirring up all kinds of feelings. I don’t know what to do with them. I guess I am just going to sit here with them. I want to grab a hold of something substantial, something concrete, and never let go. But that won’t work because things go away. So I am left with this feeling of the ground shifting beneath my feet and it scares me a little bit. A lot. It scares me a lot.
I’ve got a kind of renewed interest in cooking ever since I joined Blue Apron. I My husband often works late so I will come home from work to an empty house and cook one of their dinners. It has become a really nice, mindful, thing to do. I don’t listen to music or do anything else, just focus on the task at hand. I’ve really enjoyed this quiet time to myself. And, to plug Blue Apron for a moment, I have loved being introduced to ingredients and recipes I never would have thought of. You don’t get to choose what you get each week, aside from choosing whether or not you want vegetarian boxes. I really, really, like this about the service. I don’t have to think about anything and pretty much everything I make has been great. There have been maybe 1 or 2 duds, but even those were not terrible. Even my very picky husband approves!
Anyway, this past week I made a lentil bolognese. While my sauce was simmering I sketched my dinner. It was a nice way to pass the time.
You can see more sketches at Gotta Sketch That Itch.