Today I’m am choosing topic #21.
Where I find spirituality
I have been on a search for spirituality from the time I was a wee child. I’m just that kind of person. I’ve always been interested in things “not of this earth.” I was raised Catholic, and was forced to go to attended church every Sunday. So the idea of God and the afterlife has been ingrained in me from the beginning. I remember being very interested in things like horoscopes and reincarnation. My sister or my mom had a copy of the books, Sun Signs and Love Signs by Linda Goodman and I remember just being fascinated by both of those books.
When I was younger, up until I was in my thirties I would pray. When I was younger it had a “talking to God” kind of quality to it where I would pour out my fears, hopes, and dreams and it would make me feel better.
When I was in my mid twenties I became a born-again Christian, much to my family’s dismay. Again, I was searching for some spirituality and I found myself at “Skate Church” with a friend of mine who was a Christian. They caught me on the right day because I “gave myself to the lord” that night and it was, indeed, a spiritual experience for me. I met my future husband that day, too. I suppose that could be a kind of spiritual experience, as well, because I knew the moment I saw him that I would marry him.
This “born again Christian” phase ended up being an interesting two or three years that culminated in attending a rather crazy Pentecostal church that bordered on cultish. Raf and I had gone down this road together and we got out of it together.
We got married in Reno Nevada at the Starlight Chapel with no pomp and circumstance. Just the two of us and the minister. That was rather spiritual for me, as well. When the minister proclaimed that we were joined as man and wife I felt something happen spiritually between us, like our souls were knitted together. It was kind of strange and fantastic. It makes me teary-eyed thinking about it right now.
These days I don’t go to church. And I don’t even know if I’m a Christian anymore. I might be, I don’t know. I’m still trying to work that out. As I get older and wiser I realize that spirituality is not found in one place, one church or in one “god.” I find spirituality everywhere, in everything. I especially find it in nature. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s that feeling of peace. That feeling of being right with the world.