The Oregon Rain makes me all introspective


At my meditation group there is a friend who has had to deal with a lot of death lately.  She was exasperated and wondered aloud how long she would have to deal with this. “For the rest of your life” was the response.

And this is so true. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately as I’ve been going through the grieving process. This has been one of the most painful things I have ever been through. And the worst part of it is the thought that I will, most definitely, go through this again. It is inevitable. That seriously sucks. I’m sure that it won’t get better with each new experience. I’ve experienced the death of a loved one in the past. My Grandparents. I still think about them almost every day and they’ve been gone for twenty years. I even cry sometimes when I think about them.

At the same time I’m ok with it. I have to be ok with it. It’s going to happen and I can’t fight it. I guess when it happens I’ll deal with it. I will experience that pain. But rather than dwell on things that haven’t happened yet,  I will enjoy those who are with me right now completely and fully while I’ve got them.