dark night of the soul

Life, Thoughts and Opinions

Preamble: I was debating whether or not to post this. I don’t want people to worry about me. I also don’t want to appear weak. But the truth is that I am weak sometimes. Depression is  real and it hurts. Maybe my experience will somehow help someone know that they are not alone in their suffering. 

So yeah. I’ve been struggling with depression, as I mentioned in a previous post. Things got a bit better for a few days but then took a turn for the worse Saturday. I made the mistake of using alcohol to numb the pain. Obviously, that was a Very Bad Idea. I am normally a moderate drinker. I don’t drink very often, once a week usually, and know very well when to stop. But yesterday I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to drink myself into oblivion. I didn’t, but I had enough to exacerbate the depressed state I was in. I ended up crawling up to my room, laying in bed and crying myself to sleep. There was some catharsis in doing that. I think I needed a good cry. I felt better.

The following gets kind of dramatic and rather pathetic so you can stop here if you want.