The other day I finally made it into a popular bookstore in Portland, New Renaissance. It’s a really cool place, full of what some would call “new age” books but others might call spiritual (as opposed to religious). As I was wandering around I had my antennae up and was gauging how different sections of the store resonated. I got to to the Buddhist section, particularly the Zen Buddhist section, and felt this deep sense of security. I felt comfortable and secure and at home. I felt like I was hanging out with an old friend.
This makes me wonder if I shouldn’t go through the process of becoming an official, card carrying Buddhist. It’s actually quite the serious undertaking, which is why I haven’t considered it before now. I love what I have learned so far about Buddhism. It really resonates with me on a level I could never get with Christianity. However, I fear the idea of putting myself in a box. Christianity was so psychologically damaging to me so that is where that fear comes from. In my mind I know that Buddhism is nothing like Christianity but still. The fear is still there.