Last night I had a nightmare. I was passenger in a black Volkswagen Bug, my Uncle Will was driving. We drove into the driveway of my grandparent’s beloved yellow house. When we pulled up I could feel that something was wrong. I got out of the car and my uncle sped away, leaving me alone. I paced in front of the house for a while, afraid. Then I opened the door to go inside. There were two kids sitting inside, one girl and one boy. There were familiar to me in the dream but unfamiliar to me in my waking life. I asked them if they were alone and they said yes. I asked them what happened and they said, “He killed them all.” I said, “let’s get the fuck out of here” out loud because this is when my husband woke me up.
This dream about the slaughter of my family stems from a conversation I had with my mom earlier that evening where we decided that 2013 was the Year Of Death for our family.
So yeah. Not a good year in that way. It was a very difficult year full of lots of suffering and sadness. A very challenging year. But I also think there was a lot of soul growth too.
However, there were some very happy moments and some bright spots. I am going to just copy here what I wrote on my photography blog because I think it says it all:
While 2013 hasn’t been the best for me personally and for my family, it has been a fantastic year for photography. Photography was the light in my life, the thing that kept me together through the tough times. I have met some really wonderful people all over the world because of my passion for film photography and I couldn’t be more grateful. This past year I have collaborated creatively with other photographers, learned how todevelop my own film, learned how to make prints in the darkroom, and became obsessed with pinhole photography. When I look at all of these wonderful things I truly can say that, while it was challenging, it was also a great year.
There are many great things in store for me in the coming year and I am looking forward to it. I hope you are yours also have a great year. Here’s to 2014!