New Year, New Me


I’ve been thinking about all of the things I want to do for myself, to better myself, in the new year. I know this is a cliche, but I kind of love the New Year for this reason. I love how it is a do over. It’s a way to wipe the slate clean and start over.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want to do that. One of the things I want to do next year is stop buying stupid shit. And to stop using my credit cards. I really buy a lot of stuff that I don’t need. I bought a lot of art supplies last year I haven’t used. Expensive stuff too. And it turns out my favorite art supply is the humble ballpoint pen that I can get pretty much for free anywhere. I buy a lot of clothes. I don’t need anymore clothes. I have all of the clothes I need. Or books! Oh god I so do not need any more books. I have got to stop checking the Friend’s Of the Library bookstore every time I walk by. I have to read through all of the books I have purchased.

I kind of am seeing lately that my desire to buy stuff is a kind of addiction. It’s a way of making myself feel better. Buying things turns on something in my brain that makes me happy. But then I just feel bad for spending the money because that is money that could be saved for something much better than a stupid something that I don’t really need.

Which brings me to the other things I want to do. Read for an hour everyday. I probably won’t be able to do this everyday, but I can shoot for this and it’s not as hard as it sounds because I tend to read in 20 minute increments throughout the day. 20 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes at lunch, 20 minutes in the evening. Boom, I’m done. Maybe I will actually read through all of my books!

I also want to meditate for at least 20 minutes every day when I can, or at least 10 minutes everyday. Yoga everyday. Aerobic exercise everyday. And I mean work up a good sweat exercise. I’ve noticed that a good aerobic workout helps my mental health profoundly. I’ve already pretty much been doing this so that’s good. Keep doing it!

I want to stop drinking except for social occasions. Drinking makes me depressed. I stopped for about 2 weeks a month ago and I felt so, so  much better. I actually woke up happy for the first time in my adult life. Alcohol is a depressant and I struggle with depression therefore, I just don’t think I can drink it casually as much as I do if I want to be a happy person.

Stop eating sugar. again. This seems to be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I keep jumping right back on the bus with this. So I am going to be kind to myself because I will probably fail but I need to keep trying because it is important for my health.

Lose 10 pounds. I just need to fucking be disciplined about this. I know what I need to do. I just fucking need to do it already.

Draw everyday. I like how drawing makes me feel. I miss it when I don’t do it. This is kind of silly, but I bought a Hobonachi Planner and am going to use it for this purpose. I would  like to develop my skills with the ballpoint pen.

This all seems like kind of a lot, and it kind of is. Some of it is stuff I’ve been working on already. So we’ll see. It’s a work in progress. I am a work in progress. 🙂