Aunt Dee can f*ck off


So I have been writing down my dreams this past couple of weeks and it’s been both fun and enlightening, as well as helpful for my mental health. It’s been fun to interpret the meaning of them (it gives my brain something constructive to do) and it’s been very amusing to see how my brain uses metaphor for things in my waking life. It’s weird, actually. Things that seem just weird in my dream actually turn out to have some pretty solid meaning, and sometimes the meaning is very far from being obvious.

Well. Last night I had a visitation from Aunt Dee  in my dream.

I dreamed I was in a basement living room with my family and we were listening to music. It was really nice. In real life this is something that we have done all of my life, and when I was a kid it would sometimes turn into an impromptu dance party! I have very fond memories of these times. So I was listening to records with my family, having a nice time, when this bitchy woman walks in the door uninvited, walks across the room, and turns down the music. I couldn’t fucking believe how rude she was. I was speechless. My mom asked her, “Can I help you?” And she bitchily says she is turning down the music. And then my mom recognizes her as someone she is friendly with and they chat. All the while I am getting pissed off at this rude woman. At some point in my dream she yells at me and I try yelling back and I don’t have a voice. This is a common theme in my nightmares. I try to scream and nothing comes out. And it happened in last night’s dream as well. Eventually, after more stuff happens, she decides to leave. She walks up and picks up her bag and gives me a dirty look. I flip her off, tell her to fuck off, and tell her that she is a horrible human being. And when I say it there is no guilt because it is the truth.

When I woke up i almost didn’t write down the dream because I was thinking that it was just my brain being weird. But I wrote it down anyway, and then I let it sit in my subconscious. Eventually I realized that this bitchy woman in my dream was depression, or “Aunt Dee” as this blog post describes it (btw, really great advice in that link if you have to deal with depression).

This makes me happy because in my dream I tell off depression and tell it to fuck off, which makes me feel empowered. I feel like there is some semblance of control there, that I don’t have to let depression push me around.

And I woke up this morning deciding not to let it push me around. I have recognized it for what it is, and I am going to take care of myself and give my self a little bit of compassion. So there.

Suck it, Aunt Dee.

What on earth could this mean?!?

A parking lot with landscaping and a diagonal ...

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This is probably one of the strangest things that has happened to me. If anyone out there in blogland knows anything about dream interpretation, have at it. I’m stumped.

This morning I had a really strange dream. It was right as I was waking up and it took me forever to get out of bed. I’ve been really groggy all morning, too. It was one of those awful anxiety dreams. My mom e-mailed me this morning, telling me about things going on with her today, so I replied and decided to tell her about my dream. Here is my e-mail to her:

I’m not feeling very well today. I had a horrible dream this morning right as I was waking up. I dreamt that my car got stolen and then when I called 911 and the officer asked what my license plate number was I couldn’t find the number on my palm pilot and I didn’t have the number memorized and I just kept looking and looking. To make things worse, there was someone waiting to use the pay phone I was using so I felt pressure to hurry up and give the information. It was one of those awful anxiety dreams.

Some things that I didn’t add to my e-mail:

  • I was in an unfamiliar neighboorhood
  • I was by myself
  • It was getting dark out by the time I got to where I had parked my car
  • I was walking from some kind of institution, like a school

Okay, so my mom writes me back:

This is very weird. I had a similar dream last Saturday night, actually it was Sunday morning right before I woke up. I dreamt that my car got stolen, I was parked at some school setting, it was kind of an institution-like setting. I left the building to go to the parking lot and I couldn’t find my car. I am always loosing my car in parking lots, so I didn’t think anything about it. I wandered all around the parking lot, then remembered that there was a parking lot on the side of this instution, I wandered all over around it, it was beginning to get dark, and I still couldn’t find my car. I then went to a back parking lot, behind the building. It was almost empty, but there were a few cars way off in the distance, I thought that surely my car was down there. I walked and walked, it was getting darker and darker, there were three cars parked, but mine wasen’t one of them. I then went back inside the building, walked though what seemed to be a gymnasium setting, as there were echos around me when I walked, there was no one inside, went into an office area and reported that my car had been stolen. No one assisted me and so I tried to call 911 on my cell phone. My cell phone would not work, and seemed to be broken. A mexican looking man gave me a phone to use, it was an old fashioned phone like from the fifties. I called 911 and spoke to an officer, he asked me for my license plate number, and I didn’t know it, so I tried to call Pat for help, and couldn’t get in touch with him. I think I woke up then. It was very strange. I used to dream that my jeep got stolen when I had it. I wonder how some one would interperet a dream like that. It definetelly has something to do with stress.

WTF?!? My mom and I had the same dream! This has got to mean something