Foolish gibberish
It is officially the dead of winter and I am dreaming of Summer. I am currently going through some pinhole photos I took last summer at the beach and they are making me happy, so I thought I’d share them here with you as my next series for Photography Friday.
This was taken at Cape Lookout on the Oregon Coast with my Reality So Subtle 6×6 and Ektar 100. I don’t know what the exposure time was because my phone had died and I didn’t have a way to meter the shot, so I used The Force.
I have struggled with acne my whole life. I’ve tried a number of things, both weird and rational. A couple of years ago I went to a dermatologist (for the billionth time) to see if they could help. They prescribed Retin-A. It has kind of helped. However, I learned this week that I have been applying it the wrong way these two years. So I started applying it the correct way (wash face, wait 20 minutes, apply Retin-A). Whoa. Now things are different. I’d never experienced peeling and flaking skin before and wondered why I was different. Well, now that I’ve been applying this stuff correctly, I’ve got ALL OF THE PEELING SKIN. It’s not comfortable. I am told that if I can endure this for a couple of months my skin will be, not only be acne free, but also new and fresh and young looking.
This whole process feels very cathartic. Like I’m shedding some old part of myself that isn’t doing me any favors and underneath this old self is a new self.
A Moni 2.0.
I’m looking forward to meeting her.
Refined and common speech come together in the dark,
clear and murky phrases are distinguished in the light.
………
In the light there is darkness,
but don’t take it as darkness;
In the dark there is light,
but don’t see it as light.
From “Harmony Of Difference And Sameness,” a poem by Zen Master Shitou Xiqian and chanted in Zen temples around the world.
Winter Solstice is coming in a few days. I am looking forward to the move back toward longer days. This has been a very mild winter for us, and for that I am very grateful. But, man, I have such a hard time with the long stretches of dark during this time of year.
At my Zen center we are studying the Sandokai, a poem that is chanted in Zen centers throughout the world. The poem has a lot to say about light and dark. I’ve quoted a couple of lines above. Last night at our meditation meet-up our teacher gave a talk about light and dark and elaborated on how the poem is telling us that darkness is unifying. In the dark we can’t see differences, it is when the light comes that we notice details. She told us about the wonderful way she experienced during a predawn meditation session at a retreat. As she sat, the sun rose and she noticed how it illuminated and showed her the detail of what was around her, rocks sitting in the distance were revealed to be people sitting a small distance away.
I can’t say I’ve had this kind of experience. I’ve only experienced darkness as a negative thing and something that I’ve avoided. I am, admittedly, a little bit afraid of the dark. I have to fall asleep with the light on in the bedroom if I am alone. I never seemed to grow out of this infantile fear.
However, this Buddhist way of looking at the dark is different. That the the dark represents our interconnectedness.
I don’t have anything really to say about it except, “wow.” It’s a new way of looking at the world. And I wonder how I can use this understanding to help me get through the winter?
This is the last of my series of Pinhole In the Library photos, the final image that I had printed for the library’s art wall. This was another one from my “One Pinhole A Day” project from last year. I wanted to pinhole myself cleaning up after storytime, curious as to how all of the movement would look as a pinhole image. I liked the result!
Geeky Bits:
Camera: Ondu MK2 6×6
Film: Portra 160
Exposure Time: 1 minute 33 seconds
As I type this my muscles are aching. It’s winter and I’ve been running early in the morning in the dark. On Wednesday I was trucking along gleefully when I tripped and very dramatically landed and skidded on the sidewalk. I laid on my back and stared up into the stars as I regained my composure. When that happened, I sat up and looked myself over. I wasn’t bleeding. So I got up and finished my run. But my muscles have been achy ever since. And then this morning I was running (after the sun had risen) in the cold. I slipped on some ice and my leg muscle cramped from the act of bracing myself for a fall, which I didn’t do (thank goodness). So this evening I am sitting here feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck and realizing I should just run on the treadmill until winter is over.
With all of that in mind, here is the musical soundtrack to this post. Which really is more about the video.
First, more pinhole in the library!
This is one of the photos I printed to have hanging in the library this month. The photos were hung the other day and it was really awesome to come to work to find my photos the ones featured on our art wall. Kind of surreal, actually. In an wonderful way. 🙂
Now for the musical soundtrack for this post. Honestly, this should be a different blog post because the song has nothing at all to do with the photo. The only reason I’m posting it is because it’s been an earworm for me the past couple of days. I woke up crying yesterday with this song stuck in my head after a dream in which David Bowie made an appearance. I am not sure what it was all about but it did leave me feeling sad and foggy brained all day yesterday. I am feeling much happier today but have been thinking about what was going on in my head yesterday. I realized that this week (a couple of days ago) marks the 8 year anniversary of my stepfather’s death, so I think there has been some sadness seeping through. Which is totally fine. As I was on the elliptical machine today I thought: you know, I hope I never stop feeling sadness for those that I love who have passed on. They deserve to be remembered and missed.
And now the song. It’s a great song.
Blatherskite 