My hands are trembling as I type this. I was out for my lunchtime walk and almost was hit by a car. I was crossing the street and the driver was turning left and wasn’t paying attention because he didn’t make any attempt to stop until I screamed and ran out of the way.

I made it to the corner and he stopped and I turned to him with a look of horror and yelled, “You almost hit me!! I was crossing the street! Jesus Fucking Christ!!” and he looked mortified but blew me off by waving his hands in a kind of “I’m Sorry gesture” and he drove away.

I kept on walking, very shaken, and then I had to stop on the sidewalk and cry because I don’t know what else to do with these feelings that bubble up to the surface when I am in this situation.

I have been hit by a car in the past and so am very sensitive about this and I am very unforgiving when I find myself in this situation. The last time this happened I decided the person needed to understand my feelings and I made it very clear to them, by yelling hysterically, that they could have killed me. Afterward I felt bad about doing that, along with feeling like an idiot for completely losing my cool.

This time I just walked away and cried. I am not sure I feel any better right now.

Rage and anger boil up to the surface regardless.

How can people be so completely oblivious?

How dare they?!?

I don’t know what to do with this anger that goes hand in hand with the terrifying fear I am also feeling.

 

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5 thoughts on “

  1. You have every right to your feelings!!!!!!! And I’d say you even had a right to unleash some anry words at this fellow.

    Sit with the anger and fear. Just let the feelings be inside your body. Paradoxically, this is what will let those feelings pass the fastest.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think people that drive like this need to learn from their errors. Helping them feel a bit of your shock is not out of order, it might save someone else physical damage in the future. And crying about it afterwards seems pretty natural to me, it was a close call.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So good to hear from you Andrea!

      yes, I agree. People don’t realize how dangerous they are when they are in a car. Pedestrians really have to have faith that those driving are paying attention!

      Like

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