Thank you for the encouraging comments on my post yesterday! Much appreciated!
The other part of this thought is the realization that I pile too much practice on myself. I tend to do this and it is insidious. I feel that daily practice is very important. However, I can only do so much in a day! So I tend to have too many things I aspire to do in a day and then it stresses me out.
A small example of this occurs within my meditation practice. So the very baseline goal is to meditate everyday for at least 10 minutes. However, somewhere along the way I added different types of meditation practice three days a week. Then I added reading a particular sutra every night before I got to bed. Etc. I have all of these things that I “have to do.” Stripping all of this away for a few weeks has made me realize that I am too hard on myself! I have reset my meditation practice and an going to just focus on 10 minutes almost everyday (because lets face it, I don’t get to it every single day.)
I do this with everything. Running. Drawing. Anything in which I have developed a practice. This is something for me to work on. I am not sure how to fix this, but realizing it is probably a step in the right direction.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, maybe doing what is right in front of me at this very moment is perfect. Maybe I don’t have to aspire to anything. Maybe just eating this big salad and reading this book is enough.