When we visited Astoria last summer I picked up an Olympus Stylus Zoom 80 for 5 bucks at the best little thrift shop. I decided to shoot my favorite film through it, Tri-x, as my first roll. My usual subject being the small town I live in, with a gust appearance by Mt Hood.
LOVED using this camera. And I am also really loving the results. I am tempted to make this my new compact travel camera.
I brought the camera with me to Spokane when I visited family in August and shot some portraits. I will share them when I get around to scanning them.
Camera: Olympus Stylus Zoom 80
Film: Kodak Tri-x
Stand developed for 1 hour in Adonal.
Before I’d gotten the results back from the lab, I decided to throw caution to the wind and try out the Holga GTLR for Holga Week back in July. Unfortunately, I didn’t get my act together in time to submit them to the website, but here they are. I am very pleased with the way they turned out and, as I’ve said time and again, I really enjoy using this camera.
These were all taken around my home around town.
Camera: Holga GTLR
Film: Portra 160
developed by Blue Moon Camera and Machine.
In my last photoblog I posted the blurry results from the first roll through my Holga GTLR. I thought for my next few posts I’d share more results from that camera.
Happy to have figured out the error of my ways, I brought it with me on a weekend trip to Astoria, Oregon. I had a lot of fun with it, once I realized the camera wasn’t broken!
Camera: Holga GTLR
Film: Top photo: expired slide film (I can’t remember which brand!) Bottom two photos: Portra 160
cross processed by lab (Blue Moon in Portland, Oregon).
I don’t know about anybody else but the upcoming election and the news around it has spun me into a state of anxiety, the likes of which I haven’t seen in a very long time. My mind is racing and I can’t get a proper night’s sleep. Combine this with the fact that it’s “that time of year” and I’ve not really been myself lately.
Depression is a sneaky bastard. Lately I will be in the middle of a really horrible, self depreciating thought and something will make me come to my senses and I will realize, “Oh, I’m in a depression. And depression lies. OK. this makes sense now.” It’s at that point when I change my approach to self compassion and doing the things that I need to do as my brain works it’s way out of this sate.
This happened to me a couple of days ago. As I was realizing the state I was in I was thinking about how I do stupid things when I’m depressed, and I do them because my brain is telling me lies. I get worked up emotionally about delusions and then I act on those emotions sometimes and then I have to deal with the aftermath of these actions.
I realized that I have a tool to help me through this! The Precepts. I am so grateful for the precepts. I have come to look at them as like a kind of roadmap to life. When I am in this deluded state I can look to the Precepts to help guide me to the right action, regardless how I feel. I can trust that whatever action I take, if it is based on the Precepts, things will be alright. If nothing else, I won’t have to deal with the karma of my bad actions on top of the terrible feelings of despair that go along with depression.
Just having this realization has made me feel a lot better.
As a side note to myself, In light of this realization, I think I am going to make zazen a priority. I have been having a hard time motivating myself to meditate and that’s bullshit. All of the precept study in the world does nothing if I am not regularly practicing zazen everyday.
Yesterday we went for a hike up at the Salmon River, one of my favorite places (if not my favorite). We hiked along the river to a campground that we like to rest at before turning around. We got to our spot and wandered down to the river. At this particular place there is a pool where the rapids seem to calm and the river stills itself. This is where Salmon come to spawn, and this is what they were doing yesterday. Watching the salmon spawn is a favorite activities and it always makes me bask in the wonder of nature.
Yesterday as I sat in this peaceful place I wondered about the salmon and spawning process. I knew a tiny bit about it: that they swim upriver from the sea. I also know that after the process of swimming upstream they die because I’ve seen a lot of dead salmon in the river during this season. But that is about the extent of my knowledge. So I did some reading about it and I am kind of moved by the lives these creatures live.
They are born in freshwater stream pools at higher altitudes, like the one I was staring at yesterday. Then swim downstream to the ocean where they live for about 4 years. When they are old enough to swim upstream to return to the place they were born so they can spawn their own baby fish (called fry). The process ends up killing them in the end. So they die in the place they were born.
Reading about this made my heart break a little bit. It’s so sad, but sad in a beautiful way.