This photo was taken on this day in 2008 in the backyard of the house we still own in Spokane. The flickr caption states that I was learning how to use my new camera, a Pentax K10d. I beat myself up in the tags. I said that this was a crap photo.  How mean of me to say that to myself! geez. I need to work on not beating myself up. This has always been a problem of mine and the reason why I have never been successful in any creative endeavor. Well, successful in the perfectionist way I envision success to be. I hold myself up to high standards, standards that I will never meet. And when I realize this I give up. This is why, the past few years, I have “given myself permission to produce crap.” This simple declaration has really freed me up and helped me explore my creative side.

Looking at this now I realize that it isn’t crap at all! It’s kind of a nice photo, in fact. Not the greatest thing ever produced, but there is some potential there. right? I have always had an interest in exploring details as a subject in my photography. I think this photo demonstrates that a little.

I heard a song this morning (Satellites by Parts and Labor)  that reminded of Spokane. It reminded me of that really cold, dark, sad time of winter. It made me think of the conversation I had with my husband yesterday about Spokane. When we lived there all we wanted to do was get out and when we reminisce about our time there the conversation usually leans toward, “God, I am so glad we got out of there.” Yesterday’s conversation was different though. We thought about all of the good things Spokane gave us:

• It gave Raf a really good friendship and work relationship (he helped start a small press with our former landlord there).
• I got to spend a good 4 years with my step-dad before he died.
• I got hooked in with the Spokane! Flickr group which introduced me to a group of really great photographer friends and also reignited my interest in  photography. I think about that and I am so grateful for it! Photography is one of my greatest joys and I am so happy that I have it as an outlet for my creativity.

So, in short, Spokane was not all bad. In fact, it wasn’t bad at all. The good things that came out of living there (because if we hadn’t moved there none of these good things would have happened) make the cold, dark, sad time of winter worth every minute.