The sound of airplanes flying through the sky makes me feel anxious.

Life, Writing

 In one of my tarot decks the 3 of swords card is represented by an image of an airplane flying through the sky.  More traditionally, the 3 of swords card is represented by a heart pierced with 3 swords. There is no question what this card means. It is the card of heartbreak. I think everyone knows this feeling well. The feeling of heartbreak literally feels like swords piercing your heart. So I find it interesting that the 3 of swords card is represented by an airplane in this particular deck. For me airplanes stir up all kinds of  feelings which include happiness, sadness, and anxiety. There is the excitement of getting on one when you are about to fly across the world to visit a place you have never been before, the anticipation of things to come. Then there is the gut wrenching feeling of separation when you see loved ones get on a plane to leave, or when you get on a plane to leave a loved one. That feeling of separation is heartbreak. It is swords piercing the heart.

Sometimes when you are in the middle of a heartbreak it feels like there will never be a way out. But there always is. There is always a destination. The plane will land at the end of the journey and you will get on with your life.

Today I am thinking about my stepfather, Doug, and his death 9 years ago. Heartbreak is a weird thing. There is a feeling of very painful grief, but then within that grief there is also a release, a feeling that there is a destination, that there is an other side. You just have to get through these clouds first before you get there.

Advertisements